Parental Involvement

Author: admin

17 Jun

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Ok. Parents present during lessons. What’s your take?

Some parents are completely fine. They sit and read while I do what they pay me to do: teach their child.

It’s the Other Parents I want to talk about today. (Notice how Other Parents is capitalized. I have a feeling they exist in nearly every studio, and therefore, need a name. Names are capitalized. That’s what I learned in school, anyway.)

These Other Parents seem to think that their children cannot answer for themselves. Their children also need constant parental reminders on how to position their hands, how to hold a whole note, and how to crescendo. Never mind that they are interrupting the perfectly qualified individual sitting next to the child, giving correct advice.

These Other Parents are also completely oblivious to the negative results of their constant interference.

I know I need to get a backbone, and tell them to hush up!

But will somebody please tell me HOW? I don’t want to kick them out of my studio completely. As a parent, I at least want the option to be present during lessons and other similar activities. I just need to know how to tactfully tell these parents to stop interfering.

Do you allow parents in your studio?

Filed under: Problems- Help me!

6 Responses for "Parental Involvement"

Laura June 17th, 2009 at 5:04 am 1
Ha, I know about Other Parents. Most of the time, I’m eager to have parents sit in because I want them to know what’s going on and what their child should be working on. I actually give parents instructions at the very first lesson to head off this problem – “Now, your job is to listen and be a fly on the wall!” I get Other Parents rarely, but I’ve learned that I have to quickly take back my control of the lesson. At the first sign of answering for the student, I turn my sweetest Southern voice on them and say (with a big smile), “Now Parent, I need you to just be a fly on the wall for lessons! I have all sorts of tricks for working with little Suzy, and I’d like a chance to use them! And, little Suzy needs to be able to work directly with me. It’s hard to have two teachers!” I’ve found that if I don’t address it from the very first time, then it becomes harder to deal with it later because a precedent has been set. If it does reach the point that I have to ask them not to sit in anymore, or to listen from a chair in the hall, then they take it better because they realized from the first that they were interfering.
Cindy June 17th, 2009 at 6:04 am 2
I address it at the first interview. I tell them that parents are welcome to sit during the lesson, unless or until it becomes a problem. I say that when the students are younger they often like their parents there. As long as they don’t interrupt or answer for the student, it is fine with me.

Then I say that for most students as they get a bit older, begin wanting a little more independence and prefer their parents to wait in the car. Some will even begin to have some anxiety or extra frustration when their parents sit in. As long as we are all watching for those signals and are willing to change when it happens, then we’ll all be fine.

Of course, not all students get this way. But I’ve found that if I phrase it this way they tend to expect it to happen. They can be pleasantly surprised when it doesn’t happen to their child. Those that need to wait in the car don’t take it so personally – because I’ve made it sound like most students will eventually get this way.
Mike Saville June 18th, 2009 at 1:47 am 3
I don’t allow parents in.

This may seem a bit blunt but I have found it works much better for me and , more importantly, the student. Parents are allowed to the first couple of lessons to see me in action and to assess if they want their child to continue lessons but after that they either sit in the car or have a cup of tea at the local cafe.

It’s not so much what the parents say but more what the child doesn’t say when the parent is there.I find pupils more open and eager to learn with out parents present.
Piano Lessons Enthusiast June 25th, 2009 at 5:11 pm 4
Great posts! I find your piano and music thoughts very informative and helpful!
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