This is Part 2 in a 2 part guest post from Laura Lowe.  You can read Part 1 here.

How To Help The GTOF (Gifted and Terrified of Failure) Piano Student

1. Praise effort more than praising an innate ability like talent or intelligence.  This is SO important. When you praise hard work and the courage to meet a challenge, then you get more of those things.  But, when you praise a child for being “smart” or “talented,” things he cannot personally control, this is what he actually hears: “My image of you is that of someone who gets everything right all the time. So don’t disappoint me.”  When faced with a challenge, he’d rather not try than to try and discover that he doesn’t measure up. It’s too risky.  For a great explanation of this, read “How Not To Praise Your Kids,”  an article from The New York Magazine about Dr. Carol Dweck’s research on the psychology of praise.  The insights there have changed the way I talk to my students and my daughter, and they have informed my understanding of my own fear of failure.

So, how does this translate in a piano lesson? It’s better to say “I like the way you embrace a new technique and keep working at it until you get it,” than to say “You’re such a talented piano player.”And it’s better to say, “I really appreciate how you’ve practiced hard to make your rhythm accurate” than to say “You’re really good with rhythm.”

2. Make practicing safe. The GTOF child is painfully embarrassed to be vulnerable in front of you. Show them your own “in progress” pieces in all their rough glory. Demonstrate the practice techniques you are using to overcome your weak places. Give him permission to sound bad sometimes. For instance, I might introduce a new piece and ask him to play the first line, concentrating on one single element and giving him permission to get everything else completely wrong.  For instance, I might ask him to aim for accurate rhythm, even if he hits every note wrong. I’ll then make a very comical display of playing with absurdly wrong notes (fistfuls of them all over the piano!), but accurate rhythm.  This usually gets a laugh and dispels some of the anxiety of being imperfect in front of me. (It might improve his rhythm, too!) You can even turn it into a fun game. “How horrible can you make the notes while still keeping the rhythm accurate?”

3. Teach the student how to learn something, not just know something. The GTOF student expects to be able to do something on the first try. When she can’t do something the first time, one of my young students wants to change to a different piece of music. With her, I might introduce a new piece by asking her to be the teacher and devise a plan for practicing it. This changes the focus from “Can you play this piece?” to “Can you show me how to practice this piece?” If you ask her to “find the troublesome spots so your student will know where he has to spot practice,” then making a mistake becomes a success! And since gifted students love to have autonomy in the learning process, this approach is highly motivating.

With a GTOF student, it’s very helpful to give her a realistic expectation about how much she will learn in a single practice session – 2 lines, one page, or whatever is realistic.  This gives her permission not to have to learn it all at once. Her own measure of success was to play the whole piece today, and she may well be trying to digest the whole thing in one bite when she practices.

4. Help him exercise control in a healthy way. The GTOF student takes control of the lesson by refusing to try. It’s important to shift his focus from trying to control me or the assignments to controlling himself and his own fears. When I assign a new piece or introduce a new technique, I might preempt the fear by saying, “When I was your age, I was sometimes afraid to try something new if I was worried I wouldn’t be able to catch on right away. But, I learned that most of the time I could get it if I gave it my best effort.” This makes you his ally. I’ll also reassure him that I don’t expect him to get it all at once. “I know this is brand new, and you will probably make lots of mistakes at first. We’re going to break it down and take one thing at a time.”

5. Don’t push too far too fast. This seems counterintuitive because we usually worry about making sure the gifted student isn’t bored by material that’s too simple. But remember, the GTOF child may be more sensitive about failing to achieve a goal you set for him than another student might. You need to earn his trust by not throwing him into the deep end of the pool before he’s ready. One way to do this is to be sure to introduce a new technique before he encounters it in his literature. It’s much easier to take on a new, scary-looking piece of music when you know that you have all the tools in your toolbox that you need to play it.

6. Seize on mistakes as a tool for learning. In a lesson, I like to say, “I’m so glad you made that mistake! It gives me a chance to talk about…” I also like to say (jokingly), “Thank goodness! Finally you made a mistake and I can teach you something! You know, if you got everything right the first time, I’d have no job to do, and I really LIKE to teach…” The GTOF student may not have much experience with learning from mistakes because he makes so few in school. He doesn’t go back and study the questions he missed on the test because he didn’t miss any! You have to teach these kids how to celebrate the value of a mistake.

You should also give the GTOF student realistic expectations about mistakes in performance. Before a performance, I like to say, “I’m proud of your hard work no matter how the performance turns out. As far as I’m concerned, you’ve already passed the test, and the performance is just the icing on the cake. Chances are that you will have an unlucky mistake or two.  I’m expecting that possibility, and you should be, too. Because we both know you are well-prepared, we know that those mistakes are just a bit of bad luck, and they’ll be opportunities for us to learn something new.” In other words, it’s all good.

If you’re interested in reading more about gifted children, you’ll find tons of articles and links at Hoagies’ Gifted Education page.  

Laura Lowe has a B.A. in English and secondary education, and a B. Mus. and M. Mus. in organ performance. She has been an independent piano instructor for 16 years and teaches her own gifted 6-year-old daughter.  She writes at lowepianostudio.blogspot.com.